WHY
SUPERMAN II: THE RICHARD DONNER CUT
SUCKS ASS
Apparently there was a huge campaign for the ‘definitive’ version of this movie. A film I felt was pretty much perfect as it was. And if it aint broke, why fix it? But this is a movie spawned of two directors. Being Richard Lester and Richard Donner.
Originally Richard Donner was hired to direct both Superman 1 and Superman 2, with the idea of making both movies back to back, in order to keep the actors under contract. However, he got fired for running spectacularly over-budget, which is a big no-no.
Subsequently, Richard Lester was hired to finish Superman 2 and did a pretty good job of saving the movie from spiralling into developmental hell.
THE LESTER CUT
He essentially reined-in the unworkable script, that excluded insane ideas such as Margo Kidder (as Lois Lane) jumping out of a skyscraper window just to prove that Clark Kent was Superman! Thank god.
Another omitted scene was where she tries to shoot him with a Smith and Wesson 32 in a hotel room. It all seems quite outlandish. Yet that was the version Donner wanted to film. Most of which he actually did.
By this point Gene Hackman refused to return, as did several other crew members loyal to Donner.
SALVAGE JOB
Fortunately there was plenty of footage on the cutting room floor that Lester could work with. And to finish the film he reworked this footage into a more realistic narrative. The only things left to do were to shoot the battle of metropolis and the amnesia kiss.
So in that respect Donner may have had the upper hand in terms of directing the first one. But Lester had surpassed him with his superior sequel. But for years the debate about the Donner cut prevailed. What would that version have been like?
Well finally in 2006, with the advent of Superman Returns, Donner finally got his wish and The Donner Cut was put together. I wasn’t even aware until I saw it last night. Some nineteen years after the fact. And I was looking forward to watching it.
But on viewing it, I was left fairly disappointed. The entire movie feels more like a rough cut, than a definitive piece. Much like the rough-cut of Star Wars, that Lucas showed to Spielberg and friends. This movie is rough. And there’s no way around saying it.
HALF-ASSED STUDENT FX
This so called “definitive cut” is surprisingly crap considering the amount of expectation and work put into cleaning up the footage. If anything, it feels like Donner hired a bunch of half-assed film students to put it all together.
The new special effects look dated and jar with the old effects. The new Phantom Zone FX look like first year student work in between lunch and beer time. And an angry General Zod yelling ‘Freeeeeeee!’ is just embarrassing.
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
It’s also quite strange watching the same film using different takes. After years being used to the original version and knowing it line for line (well more or less) suddenly the Donner Cut is like watching an entirely different movie. And it literally is.
Almost every scene is the same location but the characters are saying different lines and doing different things. It’s like watching an alternate universe via the Matrix. And these new scenes aren’t that great anyway. The acting is sloppy, compared to the tighter Lester cut, who obviously went through the footage with a fine toothpick finding the best of the best.
RE-CUTTING OUT OF SPITE
Whereas Donner seems to have gone the opposite purely (I suspect) out of spite. So much so that Lois Lanes insane suicide bid is put back in. And jeeze. It does look incredulous.
The gloves are off. Its Donner vs Lester mono on mono. Even the cold open re-cap seems lengthy and laborious. Donner dispenses with Lesters French Nuke in favour of Lex Luthers Nukes from the first movie. Essentially establishing Zod and his buddies (freeeeee!!!) right off the bat before the credits even roll. But its all lengthy and tiresome and tacky.
TACKY TIME TRAVEL REHASH
One of the classic sub-plots was the diner scenes, whereby Superman (now mortal) gets his ass kicked by a trucker thug.
But in the Donner version, Superman turns back time (AGAIN) resulting in Zod etc never escaping in the first place. But we see Superman going back to that diner, just to kick the shit out of said trucker thug, none of which makes any fucking sense because in this time-line, he's basically just beating up some guy for no reason.
Honestly. It’s really retarded.
DIVISIVE FANBASE
Perhaps the only merit to this re-cut is Zod and his Goons experiencing their new super-powers. Whereby the radiation from our sun gives them the same abilities and strengths as Superman. But thats about it.
Thus now we have two camps of thought. Those who love the Donner Cut and those who love the original. But I also suspect that neither camps will agree on which is the definitive movie. And never the Twain shall meet.
I for one can see a lot of problems with the Donner Cut. None of which have been addressed since. But I would consider a hybrid of the two might be in order.
In the meantime, to recover I think I’ll just sit down and re-watch the original Lester cut and pretend it was all a bad, bad BAD dream…
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