Monday, 14 October 2024

REMEMBRANCE OF THE DALEKS

Why 

REMEMBRANCE OF THE DALEKS

Sucked Ass  



Remembrance was pretty shit basically. So bad it was only transmitted in the London region only, so I had to wait and get it on video.

Not that I was having any sleepless nights waiting. I had already consigned my Dr Who membership to the dustbin, the moment Sylvester McCoy in his first story, decided to hang off a large icy crevice (by his umbrella) for no apparent reason what-so-ever .

Not that it was his fault. McCoy and Aldred were hampered by underhanded BBC directives to bin the series.

This meant ill-thought-out plot-lines and ropey acting. Thus the series became a condescending parody of itself, to appease the Telly-Tubby generation.


FASHION DISASTER

So now our heroes had to wear these terrible outfits: McCoy with his gay-as-fuck sweaters with Question Marks and dumb-ass Umbrella. I just wanted to punch him in the face. But it wasn't his fault. Actually I should have punched JNT in the face, as this was entirely his idea. AGAIN.

John Nathan Turner was producer of Dr Who throughout the 1980s. He also pretty much had the last say on what the characters attire should be.

As a result Peter Davison ended up in cricket attire. Not entirely practicable by any means. A sort of middle finger to the previous incarnations cosmic hobo dandy in a scarf.

But then it went really wild with Colin Bakers multi-coloured dream coat. And by McCoys era it just went off the rails entirely.

Sophie at least got to wear combats.

HAMMY ACTING & NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES

Everything about McCoys tenure always felt rushed and half-baked.

Not to mention their performances. Bonnie Langford, straight out of Panto, just screamed at everything. In fact, every one is in panto-mode. Even the Master, cackling over his latest devious schemes.

One half expects Madam Twanky to rock-up as the latest nemeses.

    'There was simply no time' Recalled McCoy. 'They were always rushing things'.

So much so that in the episode 'Battlefield' Sophie almost died when the water tank she was placed in began to bulge and crack.

It was only her co-stars quick diligence that saved her life, when McCoy immediately ordered the film crew to yank her to safety.


UNMEMORABLE

For a story called Remembrance I couldn't recall anything terribly memorable. At least not for any good reasons. In fact I can only remember how terribly cheesy it all was.

The Daleks come across like stereotypes. The Supreme just spins around and promptly self-destructs at the news that the script-writers have blown up Skaro.

The only thing holding it all together is Terry Molly really. But even he has to suffer the indignity of a half-baked emperors new clothes.


DARK TIMES

This was the darkest period the series had ever known. BBC 1 Controller Micheal Grade had essentially stabbed the series in the back several times already. He would rather see the money go to more befitting programs such as Gardners World & East Enders. 

By this point the show was dead already. JNT was merely flogging a dead horse, kept animated by dodgy special FX.

Thus the Grade'ites began gathering and lurking in the shadows, waiting to feed on the corpse of Dr Who, now reduced to being broadcast in London only, as regional Tv networks wouldn't touch it with a barge-pole. 

It wasn't long before the show finally got the axe. By 1989, the end of an era had come. By which point it seemed nobody really cared anyway. Clearly the show needed a rest. It had run out of ideas and enthusiasm. Time to move on. 


LEGACY 

It would be seven long years before we saw Dr Who return again as a TV movie in 1996. Planting new seeds. Sylvester returns and gives the performance of his career. And by 2004, the series rockets into the stratosphere once again. 

As a result Gardners World & East Enders get their funding cut. 

Looking back, it surprises me how many peeps still enjoyed McCoys tenure as Dr Who. And look back at Remembrance with fond memories.

Where they high? Probably.



Thursday, 10 October 2024

WAR OF THE WORLDS: THE SERIES

 WHY 

WAR OF THE WORLDS: THE SERIES 

SUCKED ASS 



1988: I was really looking forward when this Tv show first came out. But was left feeling rather disappointed. Like I felt something was missing.

Maybe it was the distinct lack of Martians and War Machines. That said, we get to see both fleetingly in the first episode before one and all are all blown to hell in some A-Team style bullshit.

Any cannon went out the broken window, by that first episode. Then it became this sorta generic aliens disguised as humans trope. Basically a rip-off of 1960s series The Invaders with no attempt to up the game.

Around this time, we already had this trope up and running with excellent Tv series 'V', which was by far a much more original premise and tons more money spent on it. Where as the WOTW show was shot on video and looked really cheap.

It merely used the original movie as a spring board and fell flat on its face after two seasons. There was just no effort to explore the original movie at all.

To explore the martian war machines and how they worked, the missiles they came in, or any conjecture about Mars. Nope. Nuthin.

The same could be said for Friday The 13th: The Series which capitalised on the Jason franchise. Except. THERE WAS NO JASON IN IT! 

It was like watching Halloween III and wondering where the fuck Micheal Myers was at. At least Robert England was Freddy in the Night Mare on Elm Street Tv series. But again it was shot on video and looked pretty cheap. 

I could go on. 

All that said, looking back at these shows, with an adults mind, it could have been worse. We could have not had any Sci-fi /horror /fantasy shows at all. What with most Tv channels taken up with Dynasty, Dallas, Falcons Crest and The Colbys. 


TV SHOWS TODAY 

Today, it seems like we've finally got into the swing of things. The Mandalorian and the Book of Boba Fett are (in my humble opinion) not only stick to the Star Wars cannon like glue but also honour and worship it. 

We get to see more of Tattooine, explore the Sand people's culture, Jawas and their Sand Crawlers. Heck we even get to look inside the Sarlacc pit and they even use that long metal rod thing, that Han Solo used in the trash compactor.  Now thats dedication to the source. 

Basically its just great fun for kids and brings out the kids in most adults. What I would say, catching the triple balance of Nowness, Pastiche and Nostalgia


NOWNESS, PASTICHE & NOSTALGIA 

This is why most remakes and Tv shows (based on old movies) fail miserably. They ignore these three inherent rules. Think of them like the three laws of robotics, Robo Cops prime directives or holy commandments. Ignore them at your peril. 

Nowness refers to the Zeitgeist of our times. The language we use or the technology we refer to. The politics and social graces of what is happening right now. Just look at any 80s Tv show: Shoulder Pads, synth music, crew cuts and buzz words like 'Excellent' or 'Totally.' This is Nowness in a nutshell. Apply this to the 90s with Nirvana and the Grunge scene or the naughties with its political correctness and screaming snow-flake liberals. 

Pastiche refers to the actual body of work being imitated or alluded to. Whereby the original material is acknowledged and reflected upon heavily in the rework. 

Finally Nostalgia: whereby the source material is referred back to with due care and fondness. Much like 'the good ole days'. Recapturing that nostalgia for a Tv show or movie is a tricky thing. 

Point in case, Rob Zombies The Munsters remake. I've only seen a few clips and it looks pretty dull. Yep its got tons of nostalgia and pastiche alright but no nowness to it.  If they had updated the costumes it might have worked. But sticking to the original done-to-death aesthetics, was in my humble opinion a hug mistake. But who am I to tell Rob Zombie? 


THE FUTURE 

Who knows. So long as we got the balance then all is right with the world of Tv shows and remakes. So if you see some remake or re-imagined Tv show that really sucks. Well, now you know.