GENDER APOCALYPSE!!
?
Dr
Who as a Woman
–
The Unwinnable Argument –
You know the old saying you
can't argue with a woman. So don't bother. So I won't. Making Dr Who a woman
seems to be part of a trend lately in transgender character alteration, started
last year with the remake of a all girly Ghostbusters movie and probably a
whole bunch of other things. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy watching female driven
roles in my dramas as much as the next PC wheelchair bound ethnic minority. Its
not a big deal.
Sigourney Weaver
in the Alien Franchise and Carrie Fisher, paved the way for women to take the power back, in a time when most women were portrayed as flimsy eye candy to
harden guys dicks after blowing up a lot of expensive film sets and reaffirming
a mans ego, in a male hero saturated film and TV industry.
THE PROBLEM
As a man, a blokey bloke, the problem with Dr Who changing sex is simply that I
can't argue with it. Its done and dusted and any opposition to the notion
throws me into a tight grip of post neo feminist apocalyptica. So I'm fighting
this battle firmly from behind the sofa, because there's nothing more
terrifying I can think of, than a female Dr Who.
This unholy sacrilege, this
mere whim if an idea - has nothing to do with feminism or girl power - its
simply middle class PC twaddle, by the same rhetoric of our Tory government,
that attempts to keep everyone happy, so we'll keep on voting, all designed to
dull the mind, to nullify ones inner child. And still blokes can't argue
with it, because its all PC wow.
Welcome to 1984
- where You wont be able to argue with anything against the party line but
maybe after reading this article, you the reader, (male or female) may have
enough ammunition to throw back. Because the lass they've gotten to pull
it off as Mrs Who will I'm sure, do a sterling job and surprise everyone with
her amazing Dr Who-ness and Dr Who might carry on like that for a while, while
simultaneously losing so many loyal fans that it will quietly and serenely
wither away, like a transgender dog that crawls under the house to die.
PAST DR WHO
SPOOFS THAT SEEM MORE FEASIBLE TODAY
I recently saw an old clip
of comedian Lenny Henry do his black Dr Who spoof. What surprised me the most
was how brilliant and workable his portrayal actually was. Strangely it worked!
In an alternate black dominated Universe, this might be the norm. We as men
have a tough time dealing with girls getting in on our act. Just like the days
of Shakespeare, where all actors, male or female were all played by men, yet we
had a Queen governing our country.
Shakespeare today, uses all male leads as a jest of irony: we spoof it up and make fun of the concept, just as ludicrously as we once thought of a black man playing our beloved Dr Who.
But if Lenny Henry could prove the feasibility of a Black Dr Who then why not a female one? Hmm, it pushes the boundaries a bit. Would we accept a male Wonder Woman (?) sorry I mean Wonder-Man.
But wait before you lynch me with sexism lassoo's, you might want to ask yourself – why is a spoof black Doctor more feasible than a female one? Or even an Indian one? Or a Chinese? In the 21st Century we have born witness to the first black president of the United States and who knows maybe a one-day, (If Trump hasn’t blown us all up) we might even see a female one.
But this article is not about black guilt or Suffragettes, or breaking boundaries with female Presidents or some clever clever Shakespeare twist.
I am concerned ultimately, that with changing the sex of the lead role (in a well established Tv series) will only divide an already divided fan base even further.
RATINGS WARS: DIVIDE AND CONQUER
In other words,
its simply the BBC's subtle way of killing off the series, by divide and
conquer, to make way for more episodes of Gardeners World or whatever. They did it before
in the 1980's by draining Dr Who dry to make way for East Enders and when the
public pulled ranks (in opposition to BBC Controller Michael Grades decision to axe the series), the BBC simply
drained it altogether and made it so terrible and embarrassing to watch, that
nobody would want to take it seriously anyway. They even threw in Colin Baker and
Sylvester McCoy for good measure to totally destroy the series credibility and gave them virtually no time to establish their characters what so ever.
To add further insult, they even went as far as to actually destroy original master tapes of significant Dr Who episodes, (a standard procedure to re-use tapes) yet some survived this cull, due to sympathetic staff, rescuing them from skips and such. If the British Broadcasting Corporation had had their way, there would be no Dr Who, no archive and no legacy, just a forgotten Tv series that your parents vaguely remember as being totally shit, apart from ‘that Cave Bird in the leopard skins’.
You only have to check out episode six of Quatermass II to get some idea of how half-assed the BBC can actually be, when it came to taking Science Fiction seriously (but that's another story).
To add further insult, they even went as far as to actually destroy original master tapes of significant Dr Who episodes, (a standard procedure to re-use tapes) yet some survived this cull, due to sympathetic staff, rescuing them from skips and such. If the British Broadcasting Corporation had had their way, there would be no Dr Who, no archive and no legacy, just a forgotten Tv series that your parents vaguely remember as being totally shit, apart from ‘that Cave Bird in the leopard skins’.
You only have to check out episode six of Quatermass II to get some idea of how half-assed the BBC can actually be, when it came to taking Science Fiction seriously (but that's another story).
DR WHO IN THE 21ST
CENTURY.
Nevertheless, you can never totally off kill
an idea and the indomitable will of Russell T Davis made a small triumph by
returning Dr Who to our screens in super duper CGI wow. And made the series
credible again. Now a whole new Millennium generation have grown up following
that revival. Most I suspect, have never even seen an original episode nor are
they ever likely to (due to its slow pace, non CGI not so wowness). That is
also part of the problem. Fickle viewers, the social media generation, used to
quick cuts, slick one-liners and the Matrix style of fighting your enemy's.
In the ratings
war, competition is life and death. But instead of supporting the fans, the
series has already gained, the BBC has once again pulled 'operation Michael
Grade'. That is to Divide and Conquer yet again.
DR WHO? DR NOW !
Dr
Who has fallen fowl of not only Political correctness but of the absurdity of
Nowness: that somehow everything is better, if its brand spanking new and
disposable. So bin Your old Vinyl records and a get Spotify etc get the new
I-phone super slim, super breakable. But all it achieves is to leave one
without a culture, or a history in a world where all that matters is what’s
happening in the now -even if it’s not that good. So they (the faceless
unaccountables) try to demean the history and culture of Dr Who by chucking a
sexy woman at it and see if anybody notices. Fuck it. Why not just change
everything? Its hip – its Now.
THE CHANGING
FACE OF DR WHO
Trouble is once you start
tinkering with an established format and changing the iconic things that make Dr Who work, it ceases to be Dr
Who anymore: A point made a few years ago when several designers tried to
re-invent the Daleks with spider legs and binned their iconic pepper pot shapes altogether,
in favour of some tank looking things– dismissing the fact that the original Shawcraft
aesthetic pleased fans immensely, (which cemented the success of the series in the first place) and their original appeal
spurned the huge Dalek Mania phenomenon of the 1960s. Another attempt more recently was with the terrible "Paradigm Daleks" also known as the Telly Tubby Daleks. The equally iconic Tardis
Police Box was also briefly changed, much to fans concerns but it seems of
recent that the fans aren’t being paid much attention to anyway. 
INBREEDING
In that respect Dr Who has become the BBC's guinea pig for what they can get away with, a place to field test ideas - even if they suck. Because all that counts
for them is corporate policy and what makes the viewing figures equate to profit. If the ratings fall
below a certain threshold, alarm bells start
ringing and panic buttons start being hit for a solution, any solution, even if it is stupid, such as making Dr
Who a woman.
The age old rhetoric is of course things must move with the times. But does it really? How long will we have to suffer in the wake of Nowness? Sooner or later Dr Who will become inbred: Female Dr Who's snogging Male Dr Who's ! Then you end up with a ten year old kid playing Dr Who! Total Fucking Sci- Fi chaos !
The age old rhetoric is of course things must move with the times. But does it really? How long will we have to suffer in the wake of Nowness? Sooner or later Dr Who will become inbred: Female Dr Who's snogging Male Dr Who's ! Then you end up with a ten year old kid playing Dr Who! Total Fucking Sci- Fi chaos !
BRAINSTORMING DUMBASS IDEAS
"Hmm. I know, while we’re at it, let’s change that scruffy police box into a swishy-swipey android phone !"
And why not ? The Tardis is bigger on the inside is it not? Simply have Mrs Who hold aloft her swanky new Tardis i-phone and shablam! We're on planet Scaro fighting those dreadful re-designed toy like tubby Daleks (that some middle class twat thought would increase the merch sales) so they can exterminate the last vestiges of the old order, the Artisans of planet Shawcraft, then a quick swipe and woosh ! She's off again, probably snogging her new lesbian feminist (or hunky male but brain dead companion) fighting Cybermen minus (inevitably) their iconic handlebar head gear (because again, that's oh -so yesterday. Com) and so on. Fuck it all- let's just change the title to:
'The time lord formerly known as Dr Who' now starring my pet budgie because my wife said so.
Where is Verity Lambert when we need her?
Now she was a girl with real balls.
(oh god, that so came out wrong)
Anyway enough rant. Maybe you get the picture but if you don't - here's some more anyway:
Knowing what you know, does this give the viewer any choice ?
THE ILLUSION OF
CHOICE
Would we change Supermans sex? No ! What we got was Supergirl, his sister. Because the peoples who toil on these things know there are certain laws you simply can't break, if you want your Golden Goose to keep laying them yummy golden eggs. Did we have a Mrs Spock in Star Trek ? - fuck no.
They just made a spin off and called it Enterprise and that was fine
- because us as viewers want choice.
Or at least the
illusion of choice. That’s why we had Dr Who Spin-offs such as Torchwood. Otherwise we’de have the fella
who originally played Captain Jack Harkness, reappearing as Dr Who, stranded on
Earth (in Whales) fighting for Torchwood. But why bother when you can have the
best of both worlds and have a Tv spin off? It gives us choice. We can take it
or leave it.
With choice, we can love Torchwood and bore of Dr Who and vice versa but as one and the same? Making Dr Who a woman leaves us with no choice at all. Where was the spin off Dr Donna series ? Never happened. So its now a case of fuck you - Dr Who is a woman now because I'm a muddle-class BBC twit-writer and my wife is a feminist and we think Brexit is marvelous and...oh dear, welcome back to 1984 again.
With choice, we can love Torchwood and bore of Dr Who and vice versa but as one and the same? Making Dr Who a woman leaves us with no choice at all. Where was the spin off Dr Donna series ? Never happened. So its now a case of fuck you - Dr Who is a woman now because I'm a muddle-class BBC twit-writer and my wife is a feminist and we think Brexit is marvelous and...oh dear, welcome back to 1984 again.
GENDER
APOCALYPSE
Above all,
Probably the most important point, is the shear pointlessness of the sex change
idea. Call me old fashioned, but: it ain't broke why fix it? What can possibly be the logic in losing
half your fan-base just to appease some muddleclass notion of PC
purity?
Why is Dr Who now a woman? Because she can. Its mere logic and logic just for the sake of being logical, is just being wrong with authority.
And this logic only serves to divide us as a nation of Dr Who fans even more. One only wants to tune into the next Dr Who caper to enjoy childhood nostalgia, to revel in the familiar, to enjoy a good yarn, admire the clever costumes and sets and be totally inspired. But instead of expecting the familiar, we are forced to watch what the will of the party line tells us to watch: a governmental scheme to insure that its funding allocation for the BBC is justified, which means box ticking and incentive devices to encourage Television to be more ‘multi-cultural’ but instead it leaves it becoming bland.
Ultimately it boils down to a simple concept: the viewer and their nostalgia.
Take Kit out of Night Rider and you lose Night Rider.
Take the Enterprise out of Star Trek and its not Star Trek.
Take Albert Square out of East Enders...
On that note, imagine also: If a Mum comes home tired from work and sees the kids watching Dr Who, but its starring a woman who travels through time (using an I-phone called the Tardis, fighting spider robots called the Daleks) naturally she might be confused as to what she is watching. Against her better judgement, the kids will insist its Dr Who but by all accounts does not resemble Dr Who in any shape or form and like poor Winston Smith in 1984, she will have to except the contradiction.
But sooner or late it becomes a re-occurring conversation across the land:
Why is Dr Who now a woman? Because she can. Its mere logic and logic just for the sake of being logical, is just being wrong with authority.
And this logic only serves to divide us as a nation of Dr Who fans even more. One only wants to tune into the next Dr Who caper to enjoy childhood nostalgia, to revel in the familiar, to enjoy a good yarn, admire the clever costumes and sets and be totally inspired. But instead of expecting the familiar, we are forced to watch what the will of the party line tells us to watch: a governmental scheme to insure that its funding allocation for the BBC is justified, which means box ticking and incentive devices to encourage Television to be more ‘multi-cultural’ but instead it leaves it becoming bland.
Ultimately it boils down to a simple concept: the viewer and their nostalgia.
Take Kit out of Night Rider and you lose Night Rider.
Take the Enterprise out of Star Trek and its not Star Trek.
Take Albert Square out of East Enders...
On that note, imagine also: If a Mum comes home tired from work and sees the kids watching Dr Who, but its starring a woman who travels through time (using an I-phone called the Tardis, fighting spider robots called the Daleks) naturally she might be confused as to what she is watching. Against her better judgement, the kids will insist its Dr Who but by all accounts does not resemble Dr Who in any shape or form and like poor Winston Smith in 1984, she will have to except the contradiction.
But sooner or late it becomes a re-occurring conversation across the land:
‘But where’s Dr
Who?’
‘That’s Dr Who
there!’ Say the kids.
‘What- the
woman?’
‘Jesus!' Says Dad. ' give me
the cave bird in the leopard skins any day’
‘Yeah. Looks
shit' Say the Kids. 'is there anything else on?’
In the end, Dr Who becomes too homogenized with nowness, then blown to smithereens in a gender apocalypse that nobody was really
paying much attention to anyway. In the end, we will no longer recognize a TV
series disembodied from its own cultural history, we will tune out and mumble
to ourselves about the good old days...when we hid behind a sofa.
JS Adams
Addendum - Since writing this article, I decided to watch Jody Whitaker as Dr Who and thought, hmm, she's actually quite good. So what do I know...
Addendum - Since writing this article, I decided to watch Jody Whitaker as Dr Who and thought, hmm, she's actually quite good. So what do I know...
